Terrified 

I read something yesterday about feeling scared to have another baby after loss. That really hit home because yes I’m terrified it will happen again but I HAVE to try. I will not give up on something I want to badly. 

Things I may do differently if I conceive: 

Be stressed and paranoid  : how could I not be paranoid and stressed out the full 9 months of I go that far? I have every right to be paranoid. I’m sure I’ll be that pregnant lady calling the doctor for everything. And why not? I’m paying you to take care of me and my baby.

Wait to buy anything: after my loss with Masyn, returning things wasn’t in my to do list. I was so upset at the thought my lovely mother did it for me and she even had a hard time with it. I made sure to keep every receipt and I’m thankful I did that. Seeing her cloths and stuff in my living room was very heartbreaking. 

Ask for more doctor apts: the whole waiting 4 weeks to be seen is a long wait. I will request more appointments to ease my mind. 

Wait on the nursery: we had just started to do her room when I found out we lost her. So now here I have an empty room and every time I go in there I think about the what ifs and whys. The baby won’t need a nursery right away anyways right? 

The whole point is yes it’s scary to conceive again after loss because of the what if it happens again. And the mental and physical trama you have to deal with, BUT WE WANT THIS. 

It’s ok to be scared. But be strong! It will be worth it! 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s