8 weeks

8 weeks have gone and past so quickly. To think I would have been 27 weeks pregnant right now if we wouldn’t have lost her. The pain gets easier to handle as the days go on, but not a day goes by I don’t think of Masyn. 

Staying positive is a must. I can not be weak. Even when you feel like hiding in a dark room the world keeps turning and life goes on. 

I try to think about the possibilities of bringing life inside me again, it gives me hope. I know I must be patient and relax and not let it consume my life. How do you do that when you had something so sweet and fragile ripped from you without no warning? 

I wish I could be as positive as Joel. He’s VERY positive and very optimistic! The feeling that it will never happen is something I think often. The thought of losing another baby haunts me. How do woman go through this over and over again to only be heartbroken and disappointed. 

It’s hard to believe in a higher power when things like this happen to good people, deserving people. When people who have drug problems or whatever it may be have living, healthy babies and you have done everything right you STILL get your baby taken from you.  How is that fair? God??? How can you believe? Those who do right should be rewarded not punished. 

I feel like we have been punished for doing right.


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