Not hiding my grief

Saw this picture today and fell it love with it. My love for Masyn was so strong. I most deff Don't hide that my grief is strong and it is real. Everything that I write in my blog are true feelings in the moment. They may change from day to day.

Her due date is fast approaching and I want to do something special for her. I need ideas.

There is no way I could hide the fact that I hurt everyday. I have to talk about it and her on a regular basis. I do believe that I am either stressed out or have some kind of anxiety now. Nothing major but I can deff feel it in my everyday routine. Some people even notice how different I act. I'm not really been my smiley self. That worries me. I can only fake a smile for so long I guess.

Fertile window is coming up. Trying not to be obsessed. Very hard not to do. I do see why they say relax and forget about it and it will happen. I think when you try so hard thats when you get your negative results. But then again it's so hard not to be obsessed.

It's been three months since my loss and I do think that the way I handle it is better but it's deff not easier for me. The struggle is real.


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