A letter to Masyn

My sweet Masyn,

You were my dream come true, the blessing I asked for. I carried you 4 1/2 months before you left me. There is not one single day I haven’t thought about you. You would have almost been here with your daddy and I , safe in our arms. I longed to rock you to sleep, sing you songs even though your mom doesn’t have the best singing voice, kiss your cheeks and love you endlessly.

I could feel you, I could hear your heart beat. And I seen you 8 times! Those were the best days. Until that day I seen you lifeless.

You were taken away from me before I even knew it. All I can ask is why? And I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I’m sorry something went wrong. The hardest part of losing you is living everyday afterward.

I know you are safe where ever you are. Your body may not be here but your soul will always be with me. I get comfort in that.

I’m going to do something really awesome for you for you due date! And I hope you love it! Because if you are anything like your mom you looooove doggies, and I’m going to make sure some homeless puppies have blankets, food, snacks and toys! Donated all in your beautiful name.

You would have loved to meet all your mommy and daddies friends. They would have been the BEST aunts and uncles to you. Mommies friends have helped her a lot during her difficult time of missing you. I know you are watching over them too.

All your grandmas and grandpas ands aunts… I know they miss you too. You are one lucky little girl with a family with so much love to give.

I keep thinking about what it would be like

To have you grow up in our new home. We have this cute little room that would have been perfect for you, but now it sits empty. Maybe you will have a brother or sister one day who can use that room.

I miss you and love you more than words have even say. I hope you always remember that you were loved from the moment we knew about you. Thank you for making me a mom. I will carry you with me forever.

Till we meet again my angel

Love you always

Your mommy


3 thoughts on “A letter to Masyn

  1. Brandi, I am truly sorry for the loss of your little girl. I wish there is something that I could do for your pain to go away. I lost my son at the age of 17 to a drunk driver. It is very hard to lose a child. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. If there is anything I can do, please don’t hesitate. Let me know..

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Beautiful post. Thinking of you this month. I had my due date last Saturday. It’s not an easy day to get through. Instead of counting down the weeks, I’m now thinking about how old the baby would be and how life would be with him. I’ve managed to “unfollow” anyone and everyone I know who is pregnant on social media. I have a few friends due this month and I’ll never be able to look at their babies and not think about how my son should be the same age as their kids. I really wish you the best. I hope birth control helps your cycles. Mine have been extremely messed up since my d & e. Life is unfair. Please email me if you need a friend.

    Liked by 1 person

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